Mary's imaginary friend...

Today is my late sister's Bday.  She died less than 48 hours after she was born.  She was my mother's 1st child and her name was Mary.  She was born almost 3 months early, her due date was July 14th (ironically my bday!)  Back then they did not have the technology and advances they do now to save babies born early.  A few hospitals did, but not the one she was at ;(   I found out about Mary as a young girl and was so sad God took my sister from me.  I am the middle child with a older & younger brother, so I so could have used a sister and these days I am sad from time to time about it, I will never know the joy of having a sister.  Guess that is why I have 3 sister in-laws and funny enough 1 is named Mary and she married my brother, so she is Mary Totaro (my maiden name so same exact name as my sister!).   From the day I found out about Mary I knew I would name my daughter Mary if I had one and I knew I would grow up and care for childern.  I have a daughter named Mary and care for children doing pediatric physical therapy!!   So my Mary had imaginary friends at a young age. They say this is a sign of intelligence, well she has 3 she is smart ;)  Her "friends" names were "Tashi", "Sadie", and "the other Mary".   The other Mary was her 1st imaginary friend!  Well a friend once told me that imaginary friends are our angels and it hit me like a ton of bricks, Mary's 1st imaginary friend is my sister Mary <3  Happy Birthday Mary...may you continue to be an angel among us XO

Mary's wit...

Tonight Johnny pulled Mary's hair and in the process actualy pulled a piece out.  So he was sent to time out and Mary cried.  After time out he said sorry to Mary and then Mary comes back with "Johnny don't do that again, that was my FAVORITE piece of hair", it was so cute and she was so serious!  Just love my lovebugs <3

Mary's empathetic heart

Few days ago Mary started crying before bed and it turned into one of her crying spells (last a while and hard to stop, she has been doing this since 3 weeks old and not sure the colic ever stopped!).  After 10 minutes she tells me "mom it is a bad dream and it keeps happening, I can not tell you, you will cry" and she goes on "it hurts my brain"...so slowly she tells me..."mom you and dad and Johnny and me were there"..."there was a stranger" (Ok now I get nervous)..."yes we were in a store" (after I make lots of guesses)...now I ask more questions as I worry "what happened"..."mom it was the girl and the bubble blower", now I know what she is talking about.  Weeks ago we went to Toy R Us to spend her bday $ and a mom was yelling really loud and mean at her lil girl (about 3 y/o) and grabbed her over her shoulder and yelled fine you can't have the bubble blower cuz you are bad and never listen and the mom threw the bubble blower on the shelf and the lil girl was crying so bad.  It was a sad sight and didn't realize she noticed.  Instead she noticed and it has stayed with her and made her sad ;(   After we talked and I figured out what had her crying, she says "mom I just wanna go to heaven, cuz you won't see bad things like that there"...this broke my heart, my poor girl has such a sensitive heart, like her momma.  At the Dr. for well check Tuesday Dr. told Mary to tell mom/dad when she sees or hears things that make her sad so she can let it go b/c if you keep it inside it will explode.  Bittersweet, my lil girl has strong empathy for others, but it often hurts her?!
Mommy LOVES you Mary Rose just like you are, God made you perfect! XO

Children's wisdom on God

Mary:
Mary asks the other day, Mom do you know who has the biggest arms??  And so I take a few guesses and she says "No, mom God has the biggest arms, because God has to hug everyone" and Johnny chimes in "then God has the biggest heart too because he loves everyone"

and Johnny informed me that "mom God made us a long time ago because it must have been hard work"

warms my heart to hear my children say these things <3